Weight Issues

In the last couple of weeks, I've been told by several people on different occasions that I seem to be getting thinner. I have noticed my usual enthusiasm for eating to have decreased, but not enough for any marked physical change. However, the comments seem to come more often, and in tones pregnant with concern. I almost never look at myself in the mirror, except backward, cursory glances before stepping out of the house just to check if I look human. I can't really tell from my reflection if I've lost any weight. My best indicator would be the fit of my jeans which, lately, have been falling off my hips.

I decided to step on the scale today if only to prove that I have no cause for worry and that I might just LOOK thinner, which I figure can't be all that bad. I lost 5 lbs. It doesn't sound like much, but at 5'3" with an ideal weight of 120 lbs, I'm down to 103 lbs in a span of 2 weeks. That can't be good. Other people have difficulty losing weight, but my problem is gaining any. I can eat ravenously for a month and not gain a single pound, but I can still shed a couple off even on 3 full meals a day for the same period. It's a curse, I tell you.

Maybe this recent weight loss was brought about by a 45-minute Bikram yoga session after which I felt drained of all bodily fluids, followed by a week battling with colds and cough and, well, stress (it's the hip medical explanation these days). In any case, though it should be fun eating my way back to health, it's going to be tough. I'm inconspicuous and unnoticeable enough as it is; if I lose any more weight, I just might fade away entirely into oblivion.

Bikram Yoga Saturday

My book club's theme for August is sports and wellness. In line with the theme, the moderator arranged a yoga session for the participants to kick off the discussion, an activity which I anticipated with as much excitement as a mammogram. My body is a yoga virgin, and I wasn't sure my old bones (and muscles) could survive the trauma. It was Bikram yoga, the peculiarities of which I learned belatedly. Had I known that Bikram was conducted in a heated environment, I would have stripped down to what was morally decent by R-rated film standards and drunk more water beforehand, because 5 minutes in the room rendered me grossly dehydrated. I had the idea that yoga wasn't about running nor jumping, but I wasn't informed that even mere stretching could make me feel faint with exertion

The first posture or asana was to teach us how to breathe properly. And, I kid you not, breathing isn't as easy as it sounds, at least not the way our yogi taught us. In fact, in the succeeding asanas, I had to constantly remind myself to breathe. It was getting harder and harder and I felt lightheaded--- but sheer will and stubborn pride kept me going. The yogi was aware that most of us were first-timers; he really didn't force us to do anything we thought we couldn't ("if you can't do it, bend your knees a little..."), but he encouraged us to push ourselves a bit further than what is comfortable. After sweating away what I believe to be 30% of my body weight, I was almost ready to quit.

During the yoga session, I couldn't bring myself to say that I was enjoying it--- maybe because I could hardly breathe, much less talk. But today, waking up with muscles I didn't know I had screaming in agony, I must admit that the experience was exciting, enlightening and immensely enjoyable. I feel like all my efforts were not wasted because, as I'm sore all over, I must have effectively worked out my entire body. Though Bikram yoga is so hot, I didn't really notice nor mind it too much. I was too busy trying to keep my balance and doing the postures correctly.

And if it is true that the heat makes me more flexible, that I burn as much as 600 calories in a 90-minute workout, and that doing yoga regularly will make me taller, then it's something I'm seriously considering getting into. Besides, it's the perfect excuse to go walking around half-naked despite being miles away from the beach, without being self-conscious because all I'd really be worried about is finding my center so I won't fall flat on my face.