Friday, March 26, 2010

Dear Abbie

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is one of the most intimidating questions ever asked me. I want for nothing; I am content and I feel that to want something, to want more, is self-indulgent and abusive. Titles do not appeal to me. I harbor no illusion of becoming an artist or a writer. I will draw and I will write until my brain is desiccated, but to demand a label for myself by virtue of what I love to do feels like vanity. Happiness is its own reward.

To most, I probably come across as someone who lacks ambition, but I have no shortage of dreams. Ambition, to me, is a goal achieved through deliberate planning and fulfillment of requirements that follow a particular order. It's living one's life in accordance with an existing blueprint and, ultimately, being rewarded with an honorific to confirm that one has arrived. I have no need to be defined in that manner and I think it's futile to try to control the ebbs and flows of life. My dreams lavish me with inspiration. They require no more than grace to weather the obstacles along the way, and no less than courage to see them through.

When I look back on my life, I'm overjoyed that I have no regrets. It has not been without problems, but it is full and exhilarating. Though at times wrought with tears, the laughter is genuine and infectious. Youth and naivete brought on numerous mistakes and errors in judgment, but they were my mistakes and, at 40, I am who I am because of them --- and I turned out okay. I am living my dream.

My prayer is that you find comfort in the knowledge that you make me proud of all you have achieved, and feel confident of my love despite that which you think you have not. Continue to dream, and dream big, because there is no limit to what you can be.

You are your own promised land, you are your own new frontier...


Portobello's coffee said...

very inspiring!

mental wayfarer said...

Thanks, Portobello's coffee! I like your name, by the way... :)