On the whole, I think I cope with unpleasant situations relatively well. I am unruffled by being made to wait for hours. Though I am hurt by any wrong done maliciously to me, I have no pride in that I can make the first move to set things right. I can deal with frustration, betrayal and dejection quite ably. But anger is tough, especially if it is my own.
It takes a lot to make me angry. More often than not, it requires grave injustice, a lecherous intent, or rudeness and irresponsibility from choice rather than weakness done over and over and over again to get to me.
Anger is the festering rawness that prickles; an itch I can't scratch. I neither break nor buckle in rage, but I simmer. Not quite coming to a boil, but the heat is consuming. I have no doubt that I will forgive, but it is seldom necessary. What is most difficult is elucidation--- finding, grasping the reason behind the transgression--- which, if not pay dirt in itself, is a prerequisite.
A friend reminded me that "the solution is not violence, nor violence in thought". Anger is passive violence, and to the reminder, I most certainly agree.
It definitely helps to have my memory jogged so. Now if I could just have a few more minutes to wallow until the calm...
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2 comments:
This is very introspective, Ajie. I feel like I'm getting more than a peek of you as a person every time I read your posts.
I just can't make writing NOT personal, or true. I hope the glimpse doesn't disappoint you too much though...
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